the hardest moments of my life started this past weekend after coming home from a family lunch at the mandarin to a house covered in blood. my mother made the tough decision to put my dear smokey to sleep and end her pain of dealing with a large tumour, though she seemed far too happy to go just yet. so on the afternoon of november 24th, we all held the poor girl as her heart stopped. i’ve never seen anything or anyone die in my entire life, and that it had to be my childhood sweetheart only made it worse – way worse. i still haven’t gotten over it (doubt i will) but my lax of doing basically anything this week is due to that.
i must say, the 23rd felt almost like a surreal yet vivid dream. every moment is etched into my brain. the pain of knowing what was going to happen the next afternoon and having no control over it, holding on so tight and never wanting to let go of her.. even ryan came over to spend some time with her as she layed on a towel on my desk right here. for a cat, for a living being, she really had a huge impact on people’s lives.
i’m working on making a public gallery online somewhere with a collection of her photos! i have a lot on flickr and i believe i have an album on facebook but it’s just not the same. my family wants me to get my photographs all printed and put them into a physical album, along with the ones they have from when we were kids. i can’t believe she’s been with me since i was pretty much a toddler, growing old with me. something like that i can never have again my entire life. childhood friends are always the most significant no matter what way you look at it.
